Fatherly Fridays

Evenin'.  This is Kyle, ramping up for day thirteen in a row at work (of nineteen - we get Thanksgiving, or rather the night before since I work graveyard shift, off).  It's model year change-over for the automotive industry, and as a supplier, we're swamped.

Fridays'll be my day to post - an eclectic collection of reflections on life, cooking, theology, joint locks, and cooking.  Today, we discuss planning the spread for Turkey Day.  This year we're hosting another family, whose traditions and expectations we hope to achieve, and I'm working extended shifts every day of the lead-up.  Practically, I know my wife's going to have to shoulder the load of cleaning in addition to our normally hectic schedule, so I want the meal to be doable in the event she needs the morning to recover.

Turkey

• 1 pound per person, figuring half as bone weight and soup fodder, and anticipating sending a bunch to work for the post-feast leftovers potluck (hey, may as well soothe interrupting our family lives with stress eating, right?), since I've been bragging on the perfect turkey recipe to my coworkers.  10 people x 1 pound each x at least .5 for leftovers = a 15 or so pound turkey.  This is good, since most families tend to prize the 10-12 pound turkeys, and the grocers tend to try to push much larger ones, there ought not to be too much demand for our turkey.  
• This is totally doable in 2.5 -3 hours of cook time, and the hinge upon which all other things will move in and out of the oven on Thursday.  
• Being a giant lump of iced meat, we'll start the thaw sometime on Sunday, and the brine before I go to sleep Wednesday morning.  
• I need at least a five gallon bucket.  Buy a foil roasting pan that fits your bird (it helps to size check at the grocer, and DO NOT buy a standard strength roaster - either spring for a heavy-duty one, or pick up three standard ones, and expect to put holes in them.  I'll need ice and brining supplies by Sunday. (PRO TIP - store associates look far more charitably on stuffing turkeys inside of buckets in hardware if that turkey belongs in their store and hasn't been bought yet.  Also, if you don't physically put the bird in the bucket when you pick it out, it will not fit later - Murphy's Law)
• Rest the bird!  If you cut it hot, the bird will be dry.  Instead, let it sit on the counter for fifteen minutes before you think about cutting it.  However you prep the bird, this step is not to be skipped.
• Eat nothing out of the bird!  Treat that thing like a pariah until it hits 161 degrees Fahrenheit. Know that neither the inner parts of the bird nor the stuffing inside would ever . . . EVER reach that magical number, and would therefore always potentially have salmonella.

Mashed Potatoes

• Yukon Gold, butter, and heavy whipping cream are ideal.  They're also more expensive. In their absence, you can still get good results off of a blend of russets and reds, margarine, and milk, but if you're willing to pass on the best ingredients, you're probably better off going instant.  It will save you hours of prep, and give you a really forgiving way to get that perfect consistency by just dumping in more flakes, as necessary.  There are a lot of upscale options for potato flakes, also,  I know a lot of folks that balk at the idea of anything but homemade, but you might sneak in a taste test this week while everything's on sale to help you decide - the drop in quality is insignificant, and this is the single biggest time-saver in all of Thanksgiving prep.
• 1 pound of potatoes per person.  Seriously.  Never less than this.
• If you're doing this for the first time in a long time, don't underestimate the amount of lead work.  Scrubbing, peeling, cutting, boiling, draining, mashing, doctoring, whipping - very time consuming.
• Do not stop the cutting process until your spuds are in the pot, covered in water.  They can swim on your countertop for a couple of hours, but if they are exposed to air, they will grey.  In timing everything out, I recommend starting potatoes just after the turkey prep is done, and timing the boil so they finish cooking when the bird starts to rest.

Sweet Potatoes

• If you're way behind on prep, just foil them and throw them in the oven (with enough time left to cook, obviously).  A baked sweet potato is noticeably more fibrous than a white potato, but it's not a bad way to go, and a common side for steaks.  also a great way to cut down the calories (same goes for white potatoes, above).
• If you're doing sweet potatoes and don't quite know what you're doing with them, just treat them exactly like white potatoes that are taking forever to boil.  Prepare them identically - mash, butter, milk, salt, pepper.  Just don't add garlic, chicken broth, bacon, or cheese.
• About candying them: NO.  Just no.
• If you must have SWEET potatoes, the best option is to mash them up, transfer them to a baking dish, cover them in a single layer of the half-inch-around size marshmallows, and cook on the top rack the whole time your turkey's resting so they melt and brown.  I've had sweet potatoes a million ways, and this is the only way I'll eat them sweetened.
• Whatever you do, people simply won't eat as much sweet potatoes as white.  It's hardwired or something.
• Instant sweet potatoes aren't.  Just don't bother.  They're a bizarre amalgam of white and sweet that makes no sense and just tastes off.

Croissants

• Somehow, these have supplanted cornbread, biscuits, and any other sort of bread at our Thanksgiving table.
• Don't be silly.  I couldn't make French pastry to save my soul.  Just try to avoid low quality generics.
• The closer to serving you can cook these, the better.  We try not to start them until the turkey's resting.

Corn

• With all the other carbs at Thanksgiving, corn's gone the way of the dodo, but if you must, this is the right way to cook corn.  Simple, natural, and quick.  Thanksgiving could use more quick.

Cornbread

• If you're from the deep South, I'm sorry.  I grew up with Jiffy cornbread, and my mom's family is from Indiana by way of Texas.  I say that to say cornbread should be sweet, and more like cake than hardtack.  I realize in the South cornbread can be, but it isn't worth it to track down good cornmeal up North.
• We were gluten-free for a good while, and discovered a really simple substitution for any cornbread recipe (I used the one on the bag of Meijer cornmeal): use Mush!  Just add together the recipe's requirement for cornmeal + flour.  Mix this amount of cornmeal, and an equal amount of boiling water.  Give the water and meal about ten minutes to cook, then proceed with the recipe, but treat the mush like a wet ingredient (don't mix in the leavening when making the mush!).

Heading to work now; more later!